I’d like to take a few minutes to explain my background and why I wanted to start writing about decluttering and organizing.
I grew up in a loving house. My mom and dad were the best. Perfect? No. I have yet to meet a human being who is. They loved us kids deeply. Their lives revolved around us and our activities. They told us after they got married and Mom became pregnant with their first child, they agreed Mom would quit work and stay home with the kids.
My mom took her job as homemaker seriously. Our home was warm and welcoming. Our friends were over often. Mom was the best hostess, never breaking a sweat when the house was full of guests. There is no telling how many holidays, bridal and baby showers, sleepovers and luncheons she hosted.
Love of antiques
Mom loved antiques. She would go to garage sales and estate sales, find gems and bring them home to refinish. My grandma and aunts, my mom’s sisters, were equally drawn to antiques. My sister, brother and I also developed an appreciation for things that were made decades or centuries ago.
One of my early 4-H projects was refinishing an old piano stool. I was probably 12 years old. My mom lovingly walked me through every step helping me earn a blue ribbon! That piano stool has a prominent place in my home even today, forty years later. I like it, of course. But I love the memory of my mom helping me with that project even more.
When I look back, that is one of my earliest memories of me becoming attached to a “thing”. I am very sentimental about stuff. I have a hard time decluttering things sometimes. Not because I love whatever the thing is. Because I love the memory attached to it.
Decluttering My Parents’ Home
After my parents passed away, my sister, brother and I had the difficult task of emptying their home of their possessions. That ranks up there as one of the hardest things I have ever done. The things in that loving, warm, welcoming home my parents created for us held so many memories. The Ethan Allen dining room table where so many celebrations, important conversations, games, fun and hard times were had. The clock on the wall in the dining room that would chime on the hour. The magazine rack in the living room that still held my dad’s magnifying glass and phone book. The hall tree just inside the front door where we kept ball gloves and balls and frisbees.
My siblings and I were in our 40s and 50s by this point with established households already full of our own stuff. We simply couldn’t keep everything. So we each chose some things that were important to us and gave some other things to close friends and family. Then we had to let the rest go in an estate sale.
Why is it so hard letting go?
I still kept too much. I just had such a hard time letting go.
It sounds so silly. These are just inanimate objects. That’s all they are. A piece of furniture, a vase, a lamp, a book.
While I knew in my head I couldn’t (and shouldn’t!) keep so many of their things, my heart was breaking. And I felt guilt that my parents would be disappointed we let certain things go.
We are Christians, and I know for certain my parents are in Heaven walking the streets of gold without a care. They are beyond earthly worries like the stuff in their home. So why am I still worried about it?
I’m still working on answering that question even though my dad has been gone 10 years, and my mom 7 years.
My husband and I decided to downsize our home two years ago. We had a big house and a big yard that took a lot of care. We were getting older. We didn’t want to spend our time keeping up with it anymore. My husband, after seeing what me and my siblings went through, was clear: “I don’t want our boys to have to go through that someday when we’re gone.” We wanted to simplify our lives. Now, two years later, I can say it was absolutely the right decision. There was a weight to it, caring for so much.
But the process of preparing to downsize was another hard step for me because once again, I couldn’t keep everything in our home. I had to make hard choices to let some things go that held sentimental value.
I have wonderful friends and family that have helped me work through this and even did some counseling. I read an amazing book by Peter Walsh called “Let It Go”. He was speaking directly to me!
So here I sit today in a much better position. Don’t get me wrong, I still hold great sentimental value to “stuff”. I still have more things packed away in bins in closets than I need to. But I have made such big strides. I don’t hold onto the guilt as I once did.
I want to help other people going through this
And all of that is why I started this blog. I know I am not the only one who holds onto things. I thought maybe I could help someone who is at the place I was just a few short years ago, holding on and in the process not enjoying life to the fullest.
That is what I want for you. To enjoy life in this very moment. Fully. And not be weighed down by things that are from the past. To live in a home where you find peace and can breathe easy. To enjoy thinking about good memories without having to have a physical object to accompany the memory.
That’s my story. That’s why I’m here. I hope I can do some good.
I would love to hear from you. Does any of that resonate with you? What’s your story around your “stuff”? What are you trying to accomplish?
For more organizing inspiration, check out my 97 Best Organization Ideas.