Introduction

You know that moment when you look around your house and wonder, How did it get this bad? Yeah. That was me not long ago.

My kitchen counter was buried in unopened mail, the guest room had turned into a donation drop-off zone, and my closet… well, let’s just say I was playing clothing Jenga every morning.

I knew something had to change, but I didn’t know where to start. I Googled “how to declutter” so many times you’d think it was my job. But every list I read felt clinical, cold—like it was written by someone who’d never sobbed while holding their kid’s baby shoes.

So I decided to do it my own way. A human way. An honest way. A way that included tears, Diet Coke, and dancing in my clean kitchen when I was finally done.

Here’s what I learned.

1. Decluttering isn’t about the stuff.

When I first started learning how to declutter, I thought the hardest part would be making time or figuring out what to toss. But no. The hardest part was me.

The guilt. The memories. The “what if I need this one day?” loop that never ends.

One of the first things I had to let go of? A box of books I have had since I was a little girl. I haven’t read any of the books since I was probably 13. I haven’t even looked at the books. They have been in a box for 40 years! Even so, I held on. Learning how to declutter was yet on my radar.

Eventually, I realized: I don’t need the thing to remember my childhood.

Learning how to declutter tip #1: If you’re struggling, ask yourself—Am I keeping this out of love or out of guilt?

2. Start small. Like, embarrassingly small.

I started with one drawer. Just one. It had pens (not a cat!) that didn’t work, expired coupons, and keys to who-knows-what.

Cleaning it out took maybe 15 minutes, but that little victory gave me the momentum to keep going. Suddenly, learning how to declutter felt doable. It felt good! Almost… fun?

Learning how to declutter tip #2: Don’t wait for a “free weekend.” Pick one tiny area and start. The win matters more than the size.

3. The feelings will come. Let them.

I didn’t expect to cry over an old ladle, but here we are.

As I worked through my kitchen, I found an old ladle. You know the kind with the light blue flowers from the 70s? It had been a staple of my kitchen growing up, and I wanted to keep using it. Trouble was it wasn’t in great shape. It needed to go. I cried. Over a ladle!

Instead of pushing through, I paused. I let the memory in. Then I let the ladle go.

Learning how to declutter tip #3: Your emotions aren’t a distraction. They’re part of the process. Let them walk beside you.

You might also like 5 Emotional Benefits of Decluttering.

4. Decluttering can make you feel powerful again.

I’m not exaggerating when I say that decluttering helped me reclaim a part of myself.

When life feels out of control—because of grief, stress, parenting, job loss, whatever—your home can start to mirror that chaos. When I took control of my space, I started to feel stronger, more capable.

Learning how to declutter tip #4: Cleaning out your closet can give you your confidence back. It’s not just organization—it’s self-care.

You might also like Decluttering As Self-Care Is Powerful.

5. You don’t have to be a minimalist.

This was a big one for me. I thought “how to declutter” meant “how to get rid of everything you own.” Nope.

I still have book-lined bookshelves. I still have my beloved shoe collection. I still have a lot of throw pillows.

But I only kept what I love and actually use. I gave myself permission to let go of what didn’t serve me—and to keep what does.

Learning how to declutter tip #5: The goal isn’t to own nothing. The goal is to own the right things.

6. Some decisions are easier with a friend.

I invited my best friend over when I did the biggest purge—my closet.

She poured the coffee. I tried on things. We made piles. We laughed (and groaned) at my fashion choices circa 2005. And we made progress.

Learning how to declutter tip #6: Don’t go it alone. Whether it’s a friend, a sibling, or even a professional organizer—sharing the load makes it lighter.

7. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be better.

I’m a recovering perfectionist. There, I said it.

For a long time, I thought there was no point in starting if I couldn’t make everything Pinterest-worthy. But progress isn’t about perfection—it’s about peace. Read that again!

Now, when I open my once-overflowing drawer and see a neat little tray of everyday items? That’s enough. That’s everything.

Learning how to declutter tip #7: Done is better than perfect.

8. Your future self will thank you.

Every time I walk into my kitchen now, I feel lighter. I breathe easier. I’m not buried in stuff or guilt or decision fatigue.

Decluttering didn’t just change my house. It changed how I live in it.

Learning how to declutter tip #8: Think of it as a gift to your future self. She deserves less stress and more space.

9. You might inspire someone else.

After I talked about decluttering a closet with a friend, she messaged me. She said, “I’ve been putting this off forever. You just gave me the push I needed.”

I wasn’t expecting that. But it reminded me—we’re all in this together. Your story might be someone else’s starting line.

Learning how to declutter tip #9: Share your wins. You never know who’s watching.

So… how do you declutter?

You start. You cry. You laugh. You throw things out. You hold things close. You keep going.

You give yourself grace. And a snack break. And maybe a dance party or two.

Decluttering isn’t just something you do. It’s something you feel. And when you come out on the other side, you don’t just have a cleaner home—you have a clearer heart.

If you’re staring at the mess and wondering how to declutter, I promise: you’re not alone. You’ve got this.

And if you need help, I’m here.

P.S. What’s the weirdest item you’ve ever had a hard time letting go of? Email me at nancy@nancytraylor.com!

Resource: The book Let It Go by Peter Walsh was hugely helpful in my decluttering journey!